Better laugh or I’ll get grumpy

cheeky lizard

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

I just wrote an hour long post on my challenges, goals, dreams for the year ahead. & then I accidently closed the unsaved window and all my work was lost.

Instead of raging around about it I’m choosing to laugh at myself.

Yes it’s 2011 and things are going to be a little different. I’m trying new things, changing the way I do things, learning new skills and I want to have fun.

There’s Playcentre, a skills group for dealing with my anger & grief, my Course 3 assignments, 2 reading challenges, book reviews, poetry, photography plus my three beautiful children, my husband & my mum & our dog to be taken care of. It’s going to be busy.

But first there’s some serious holidaying to do! (See you in February)


Spiral woman

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

suspended in space
& time
coiled in on herself,
wrapped in emotion –
unable to perceive her left
from her right
up from down


vision blurred
legs extended
arms enfolded

she recedes from you
is traced by a point
runs around
& around

call softly:
hold out out for gentle words
softly spoken,
allow yourself to travel
lightly over old bones
on broken stones.

attente / waiting


Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

(I am waiting for an arrival, a return, a promised sign. This can be futile, or immensley pathetic…Everything is solemn. I have no sense of proportions)

As I wait for you to arrive
pacing the floorboards
a telephone rings
& I’m startled

Pacing the flooboards
I chain smoke
& I’m startled
when someone starts to sing

I chain smoke
inhaling deeply & quickly
when someone starts to sing
I remember the day I met you

Inhaling deeply & quickly
I begin to feel dizzy
I remember the day I met you
as I wait for you to arrive.

Struck by you

At a party: sober,

stone cold

& alone,

I’m struck


you – elfin figure of curls

& deep eyes. Enticing grin

that – & I’m struck secondly

by the grace & calm sense

of space, effortlessly maintained

whilst throwing out a welcome

invitation to dance.


I long for the precision

of a single word to pin a name on the jolt

in my veins as I inhale

& this body say Hel-lo

to yours

& I’m struck again.

Desperate codes

You force yourself upon me:

This is an illness

Not something I can control

You are way past my boundaries

with lies, irregularities, selfishness.

I have no sympathy,

do not believe your words,

your promises.

I cannot go on.

There is a sickness

it eats your insides

& all the molecules move.

Here, once more,

we did this fifteen years before.

Our footprints

so fresh to these eyes

(I must have closed them)

I hoped for a cool change

a wind to blow this dust.


our shoes wait

at the step

correct size,

still warm.

You march me down

& my muscles are tight knots

of frustration.