Better laugh or I’ll get grumpy



cheeky lizard

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

I just wrote an hour long post on my challenges, goals, dreams for the year ahead. & then I accidently closed the unsaved window and all my work was lost.

Instead of raging around about it I’m choosing to laugh at myself.

Yes it’s 2011 and things are going to be a little different. I’m trying new things, changing the way I do things, learning new skills and I want to have fun.

There’s Playcentre, a skills group for dealing with my anger & grief, my Course 3 assignments, 2 reading challenges, book reviews, poetry, photography plus my three beautiful children, my husband & my mum & our dog to be taken care of. It’s going to be busy.

But first there’s some serious holidaying to do! (See you in February)

friend

friend

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

Over & over
I want to tell you
about a length of wool
wrapped around your body
(of this desire we cannot speak)

Scenery flashes by in the train
whilst we are silent
(pass by, pass by, pass by)

Our eyes are caught
against the edges
I am afraid to move
(a difficult transition is shifting our borders).

Poetry is here to stay

I haven’t written anything here for ages. I could blame the children but then that hasn’t stopped me being on Twitter (@Becs) or watching True Blood or Glee. If I want to make something happen here I have to make it happen & be more self disciplined.

Today I bravely (foolishly?) declared I would write 2 poems a week (at least).  The best place for them is here. I’m going to start out by publishing some old work. Feedback welcome.

petesmiles



petesmiles

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

these last two years have been heartbreaking for our family in so many ways but this little fella born on september 24th has brought so much happiness and healing for us all.

he’s such a cruiser, he’s a smiler, a gurgler, a coo’er. he’s bonnie and bouncy. he’s chubby and cuddly. and we just adore him.

this christmas i am looking forward to being with my family, just loving them and being thankful for their presence. my presents are going to be us, all together and lots of love.

transitions

chiaroscuro

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

it’s been a while since i have been able to set aside some time for writing and peaceful thinking but being assigned to bed rest seems like it might be the right moment.

our little family has been in transition lately. firstly, over the christmas holidays we moved house for the third time in less than two years. (sigh). a move that although a little sad is also positive. we have shacked up with my mum in the medium term, hopefully so we can save some money and pay off some accumulated debts.

then of course we have had the first anniversary of jacob and findlay’s birth. a celebration and a memorial. some laughter and some tears. sounds cliche but for us it was true. i am so proud to see my little son growing, walking, learning about books and language. i also mourn my little boy who died and wonder how life would be different if he had been here with us.

now my eldest child (daughter) is making tracks to school. she turns five on april 27 and has had two school visits. she has gone from saying “mum i don’t want to start school until i am 50” to being a kid who can’t wait for Tuesday morning which is visiting day. she is so ripe for greater learning it’s exhilirating, we merely follow in her wake.

and then the bed rest… i am almost 12 weeks pregnant but have had some bleeding. it’s not major, heavy or full of pain but it causes some anxiety. i had a scan this week which showed the baby’s heart beating and movement. so far, so good. i am off to see the midwife at the end of this week and will try to stay off my feet in the meantime. i am want to be excited but need to hold on to my heart for now.

change has come to America

i said this morning to my mother: it’s probably lack of sleep but if Obama wins today I will cry. I’ll cry if he loses too.

This afternoon with two very tired children playing around us with all the usual witching hour behaviours she and i firstly watched CNN predict Obama to win Ohio, then Senator McCain give a gracious (but welcome) concession speech and finally to see Barack Obama to take the stage as the first African American President elect.

And yes, tears of joy flowed.

As he said: “change has come to America”. here’s hoping this man is as good as the promise of this man.