look how they wave to you

look how they wave to you

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

time has been marching on: two children’s birthdays, a school term, some holidays, a house move. more school, more playcentre. some illness.

i find companionship in online spaces – twitter & facebook. i find companionship in the community closer to home – at playcentre.

i struggle with my mood disorder. i try to learn more about myself and strategies for parenting well & unwell.

and all the happy people & i feel like i’m in that stevie smith poem & one day i’ll say to you: ” Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.”

The Magic Box

Molly running

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

I will put in my box
A golden tree,
A book of glass,
A cage of spanish gold with a speckled egg,
An ice cream that never melts.

My box is made from the corners of the moon
and rainbow rubies.
It is full of magical things.

In my box I will slide down a giraffe’s neck
and wish for Christmas every day.

by Molly (aged 6 & 1/2)

estuary

high and dry

Originally uploaded by beccaplusmolly

if we slip so easiily
in & out of feeling that
fucking midweek is nothing
& tears on a Friday are
the same as standing
in the rain
then i suspect neither
of us are present in this

your body slides
mechanically in & out
of mine but your mind
is elsewhere.
we’re wading in this estuary
waiting for a tidal change.